Cubical Commando

[kigs]

Do not fuck with my office.

It is my territory.
I live here for most of my week.
It's like a very small, organized second home.
I get rather territorial about it.

I was happily devouring a taco today when a spider decided to do her best Mission Impossible impersonation and come down on a thread onto my remaining taco. Unwilling to relinquish my taco to the eight legged feind, I scoured my desk for a method to defeat the newfound foe.

Are there any napkins to crush it with? No
Are there any books to smash it with? No
Should I take off my shoe? No, I just had them polished.
Post it notes! Eureka!

Just as the spider is about to land on the unsuspecting taco, I grab the nearest stack of post it notes and take a couple off the top. I then proceed to flick a couple at the spider ninja-star style. To my surprise, one of the post-it notes hits the spider squarely in the abdomen and sends it flying across the room.

I let out a gutteral yell, leapt over my desk, and brought down the remaining stack of post-its on the critter, cleanly slicing it in half. Without missing a beat, I use one post-it to scoop its remains onto the remaining post-it note stack and then throw them all away.

Kigs 1
Spiders 0

Do not fuck with my office.
Truely,
~Kigs

PS:

Today is the 16th birthday of the first complete html webpage.
Happy Birthday, Internet!

Comments

[kitsunetorn.livejournal.com]

I hate ninjas.
I love spiders.

But the dramatic awesomeness of the event leaves me to appreciate this incredible series of feats.
Good show, man.

Also, more info on this birthday thing? I'm curious.

[kigeni.livejournal.com]

That's actually all the info I have on it. A friend send me a txt msg with that tidbit earlier today and I thought it was worth sharing.

[factor17.livejournal.com]

Here's the scoop:
http://slashdot.org/articles/06/11/13/2223208.shtml

It was relatively extremely awesome to be sitting at work reading slashdot, send a random text out to a few friends, and than later (still at work) read it on their LJ. hehehe

[kigeni.livejournal.com]

What can I say.
I felt the need to spread the netlove.

[justblieve.livejournal.com]

SPIDERS HAVE FEELINGS TOO

[kigeni.livejournal.com]

Of course they do.

Before, it felt hungry.
Now, it feels dead.

[justblieve.livejournal.com]

:||||||||||||||||||

[borderpilot.livejournal.com]

She laid eggs in your taco.

[kigeni.livejournal.com]

I will feast on her unborn children.
With everyone one I devour I will grow stronger!

[justblieve.livejournal.com]

Pssst... I just thought you should know it makes me happy whenever I see you use that icon ♥

[kigeni.livejournal.com]

Anything to make you smile. :)

[justblieve.livejournal.com]

D'awwwww ♥

[pippinsfirefly.livejournal.com]

"I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today" is so not Webber, dude.

What the fuck kind of theatre geek are you?

[kigeni.livejournal.com]

I copy/pasted it.
Though, now that I think of it, is that a Tartaglia or a Jordan Gelber?

[pippinsfirefly.livejournal.com]

Written by Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx.

[kigeni.livejournal.com]

Blast it, I'll just put where it's from

[justblieve.livejournal.com]

Also: Avenue Q is awesome

[areitu.livejournal.com]

I bet you expended many a rice point for that one!

[kigeni.livejournal.com]

It's alright.
I have a bunch of rice points from that time I tried to tear off my muffler because I car sounded cooler.

[factor17.livejournal.com]

You got my text! So happy I am that you actually care about the birth of the internet. :D

[kigeni.livejournal.com]

The internet loves me, damnit.

[stokerbramwell.livejournal.com]

*AWE*

[kigeni.livejournal.com]

Next time, I will start my stand-up routine by paper cutting the shit out of the first row of audience members. :)

[kurtbatz.livejournal.com]

I like spiders. They're made of awesome.

You're like the Ed Gein of arachnids. You beast.

[chaoseven.livejournal.com]

"Take a memo!"

*squash*