True story

[kigs]

I sleep with a spear by my bed.
I swear it.
One of those big ol balanced ones with the bulbous feathery red puff right below the tip.

One of these days, an unfortunate thief is going to break into my room.
When it happens, how am I going to explain to the police that there is a legitimate reason why there is a dead man in my living room with a spear in his chest?

No, really. Tell me.
I want to hear your suggestions.

Truely,
~Kigs

Comments

[justblieve.livejournal.com]

And I'm coming to visit you?

I'm not sure whether to be scared of comforted :|

[randomchic.livejournal.com]

Self Defense.
*shrugs*
pretty legitimate.

[cass-rising.livejournal.com]

I sleep with a carraca next to my head. Someday I may well have to explain a partially decapitated body.

Self defence - reflexes, whatever. Just make sure you call 911 the second the body hits the floor.

[dour.livejournal.com]

Unless your bedroom is in fact a gymnasium, perhaps a dagger would be the better option?

Hee... I'm picturing that scene from Kill Bill 2 in Budd's trailer, where they're having difficulty unsheathing their swords in the available space.

[kigeni.livejournal.com]

Oh, I have one of those too.

A spear. A sword. A dagger.
...and a butter knife.

[dour.livejournal.com]

Multiple options generally cause hesitation.

Clearly, your best course of action is to sleep with only the butter knife.

[westly-roanoke.livejournal.com]

Self defence.

If they are in your house an you think they are going to hurt you...BE SURE YOU KILL THEM. If they're not dead, they will sue you. And probably win.

[frostfur.livejournal.com]

Self defense.

I used to sleep with a machete next to mine. The closest I've come to your situation was slicing my stepdad's hand open when he tried to wake me up O.o;

Be sure to tell the nice police folk 'zactly what happened and all that. :)

[mythos-amante.livejournal.com]

I think we've discussed our tendencies, yes?

I have a broadsword, two foot-long daggers, and a stout oak plank with a handle carved innit.

I think we're nuts! But....prepared nuts!

Like...um...roasted with green beans!

[drandersen.livejournal.com]

He/she fell on it. Several times.

[draque.livejournal.com]

"He was like that when he came in."

[digitalis.livejournal.com]

We have a katana next to the bed. :D
Here in FL, all you need is that they entered your property uninvited, and the stabbing is AOK.

[stokerbramwell.livejournal.com]

HOORAY FLORIDA!

[kigeni.livejournal.com]

Sweet.
I should being a sword to Florida and sleep with it by my resting couch.

...will I be able to get a sword through customs?

[joeypoey.livejournal.com]

Better keep a shovel next to the spear.

[stokerbramwell.livejournal.com]

"He was making fun of me with his eyes. You're not gonna make fun of me, are you? Are you?"

[tixen.livejournal.com]

d00d. A spear would definitely give you the element of surprise. ..or at least the element of WTF.

"GET OUT!"
"Is that.. a spear?! What the fuck!"
*stab!*